Hot Hero Sandwich Episode 6: Andy Breckman, “My Friend Bernie”

by G. Jack Urso

Andy Breckman, backed up by the Hot Hero Band, performs “My Friend Bernie.” 

At first, Andy Beckman’s song in episode 6 of Hot Hero Sandwich, “My Friend Bernie,” seems to be about an epic game of “hide-and-seek” gone wrong. Our titular protagonist, Bernie, is never found — ever. While the singer goes on with his life, and Bernie’s family with theirs, Bernie himself never turns up, except to occasionally call and taunt the singer, reminding him that he is still out there somewhere.

As with “Tommy Two,” the song is layered with meaning. At first, it seems like just a funny song about a childhood game that appeals to the younger end of Hot Hero’s demographic.

Scratch the surface a little more, and teens at the older end of the demographic realize Bernie is a kid who doesn’t want to be found. Maybe he’s hiding from the family he never sees, or maybe he was forgotten in that game of hide-and-seek and the singer’s search for Bernie is his guilt for giving up trying to find him, for leaving him behind.

Dig deeper yet, and adults realize Bernie is a stand-in in for all those old childhood friends and memories that are still out there somewhere — much like Hot Hero Sandwich is an old friend we thought lost, but was always out there somewhere, waiting to be found, just like Bernie.

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My friend Bernie used to say,

“I can beat you at any game you want to play!”

My friend Bernie used to love to win

TO WIN . . . To win . . . TO WIN

 

One time we played hide and seek

I closed my eyes

I did not peak

When I turned around there was no trace of him

 . . . OF HIM

He was hid real good

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, where are you?

 

I looked for him the whole day though

All summer and all winter too

He was gone . . . HE WAS GONE

He was hid real good!

Come back Bernie from where you came!

 

For Pete’s sake Bernie, it was only a game

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie,

Bernie, come in . . . you win

YOU WIN  . . . you win

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie,

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie,

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie,

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie,

 

Bernie calls me about once a year

Says, “Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m over here!”

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie, Bernie

I don’t care, come in

COME IN . . . come in . . . COME IN

 

Bernie if you’re out there, listen to me

Your parents got divorced in ‘73

Your sister got married in ‘74

You’re grandpa ain’t around no more

Come home . . . COME HOME . . . Come home . . . COME HOME

Come home . . . COME HOME . . . Come home . . . COME HOME

Come home . . . COME HOME . . . Come home . . . COME HOME

Olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly, olly,

OXEN FREE!

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UPDATE: The Hot Hero Sandwich Project has moved to its new home at www.hotherosandwich.com. All new posts after July 2024 will be posted only to www.hotherosandwich.com.